I wanna ask that..
- Have u ever feel scared that the wedding might be cancel due to any sort of reasons??
- Do u once think that ur fiance or future husband may leave u for watever reasons???
- Do you feel sad if the wedding will not happen either because of you or him???
- Can you ever imagine that the w-day do not happen as what u have planned????
- Have u feel that u want to back off from this marriage thingy, from these commitments???
Been thinking those lately.
im a freak.
im scared to lose him.
he's my prince arthur.
but I noe that i am belong to no other than Allah s.w.t
He may take him or me at anytime.
I wish He will let me live with chuan.
i want to be with him for every seconds in my life.
i want to share my hapiness and sadness with him.
i want to have our own house.
i want us to live under one roof.
i want to cook for him, wash his clothes, get angry with him for the mess.
i wanna be the best for him.
though i am scared i can never be the same doter and sister to my family.
i am scared marriage may change his love for me.
i am scared that i will never have my freedom anymore.
i am scared to hold any responsibilities related to pregnant, baby, parent thingies.
but still i wanna have kids.
i wanna have cute kids like rania. lol.
i wanna go toys r us together with him and the kids.
i wanna tease him that now we go toy r us with kids now. no more single mingle life.
i wanna grow old with him.
i wanna tease him 'hey abg!!u r rongak now!hishhhhhh!"
ohhh my....so much to do and these things linger in my mind..
is it a normal emotional break down?
syg, hold my hands. never let me go.